Tag Archives: life

5 things

This week is Dying Matters Awareness Week 2012, the theme of which is “small actions, big difference”. As part of the campaign, people are being encouraged to take small actions which include:

  • helping someone to write a will
  • showing and discussing one of the Dying Matters films
  • visiting someone who’s been recently bereaved
  • becoming an organ donor
  • documenting your own end of life wishes
  • writing down 5 things you want to do before you die

Some of my friends and family think I spend too much time thinking about death. But because I think about the fact that life will end (hopefully not for a while), it seems so much more precious. So here are 5 things for my bucket list:

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A Grief Encounter

Last week was particularly stressful; marked by staff shortages, anguished relatives, conflict over complex discharge processes, and pressure to create beds. The amount of time I spent with each patient on my ward rounds was less that what I, or they, would have wanted but despite coming in early and leaving late there are only so many hours in a day. In weeks like these I often feel guilty as I leave work that I am unable to give more time to those patients and relatives facing the end of life.

More than many other people I know, I am acutely aware of the fragility of life.

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Last week a man asked me to kill him

I had just told Mr George* that his end-stage heart failure had become refractory to treatment, and I thought it likely he would not survive this hospital admission. He looked at me carefully and said, “Well that’s it then. Can’t you just give me something…end it for me?”

This is not the first time a patient has asked me such a question, and will not be the last. Often the question is more ambiguous, and it is unclear exactly what they are asking for: “can you just put me to sleep?” could be interpreted as a plea to end their life, but could equally be a request for a break from their symptoms or thoughts, with the hope of a more energised remaining time afterwards. It is a constant challenge to interpret such questions appropriately and personalise support and treatment for the needs of the individual.

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